Resources to guide parents and teens as you discover how to develop healthy teen relationships according to Biblical principles.
As we researched this topic for ourselves, we found a number of resources that were subtly yet very legalistic in their approach to how teen relationships should be handled.
It was only when we read a critique of some of these writings that our eyes were opened and we were able to see the flaws in the reasoning behind their very Biblical-sounding arguments!
For this reason, we would urge you to read with much care any materials that you discover on this topic. Since dating and courtship are not specifically mentioned in the Bible, this is a topic that relies on man’s interpretation of Biblical principles – and therein lies the risk of deception!
The following are some articles that we feel are worth reading. Each person’s life circumstances and relationships are unique and any decisions need to be Spirit-led.
There can be no one-size-fits-all rules!
To us the important thing is to develop an open relationship with your teens where you can talk about relationships and guidelines for developing healthy relationships with the opposite sex.
Love and Romance – our own article on this topic (download in pdf format). Please note that this article was written some years ago when our own teens were much younger. This is not a prescriptive formula, but rather some ideas for you to discuss with your own family as you find your own way through these sometimes complex relationship issues.
Worth Waiting For: Our Courtship Story – by Crystal and Jesse Paine.
Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed – Thomas Umstadd
The above two articles present differing points of view for you to discuss together.
For Parents
Courtship Principles vs. Rules – by David Crank
Recommended Books
We suggest that parents read the following books first and then, only if you consider your child mature enough to be able to handle the sexual content in certain chapters of some of them, only then should you read the book together with your young adult.
The whole concept of building healthy teen relationships depends on open communication and trust between the parent and child, so use the reading material to deepen your relationship and open up discussion on this much-neglected topic.
Some of these books promote a ‘formula’ but in practice, you might find that your family, your relationships with the opposite sex, your circumstances are unique and you need to find your own set of guidelines.
Dating with Integrity, John Holzmann
John Holzmann is convinced that men and women of all ages need one another. He believes each one of us will suffer a distorted view the world if we refuse to enter into and maintain close relations with members of the opposite sex, but that typical boyfriend- girlfriend dating relationships are not bibilical.
Using scripture and applying insights gained from careful observation of common behaviour in our culture, Mr. Holzmann seeks to help readers understand how to become true friends with members of the opposite sex.
Relationships of integrity, he says, promote a healthy joy in each other’s presence, a freedom that those involved in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships never experience. And they permit you to get to know others – and let them get to know you – far more fully and accurately than boyfriends and girlfriends ever can.
God is A Matchmaker, Derek and Ruth Prince
A focus on God’s design for marriage and how it relates to our lives in this era today.
When God Writes Your Love Story, Eric and Lesley Ludy
Eric and Leslie Ludy challenge young people to take a fresh approach to relationships in a culture where love has been replaced by cheap sensual passion. They offer an exciting vision of hope, proving that the Author of romance is alive and well and that true and lasting love can become a reality