Help! I am not used to spending this much time with my children!
Parenting and homeschooling go hand in hand, in fact they are inseparable. Part 3 of this e-course hinges on a quote that we, Wendy and Shirley, often use for helping other homeschooling parents through tough times. It is a quote that has been a reality in our own lives too.
In a small booklet entitled: As God Parents You, Parent your Children Kyle Miller states: “In contrast to what many homeschoolers believe, God’s initial goal for Christian homeschooling families is not the raising of godly children. Instead, God’s wonderful but subtly hidden agenda is that the homeschooling experience be so challenging for the parents that they feel the need and hunger for a closer walk with their Heavenly Father.”
If you have been a work-outside-the-home mom, even just a mom who has enjoyed her mornings to herself for a long time as your children have been in school, you may find the 24/7 time spent with your child a challenge. Even seasoned homeschooling moms need time out, but we will deal with that in part 7 of this e-course.
Parenting is about building relationship with your children, pointing them towards the Father, stocking their “moral warehouses” with good values and emotional intelligence. Parenting is about gaining your children’s trust, respect and their desire to seek you out for advice and help.As mentioned in the quote above, when we believe in God and hand over our lives to Him to lead us in all areas, we become His. We are not our own, we are bought with a price and we need to obey Him in everything. Thus, parenting is included in this “everything”. Parenting is not getting our children ready for school, packing lunches, driving them to sports, catering for their social needs and cooking them healthy meals – no, an au pair could do that!
When your children are little these relationships may develop easily. Of course they will come to you when they have a hurt, if they are hungry or want entertainment. And of course you will train them to speak nicely, show respect and to obey. Perhaps by their 4th year they might be attending a playschool a few mornings a week. By 6 years they will be out of the home for up to 6 hours, away from your parental influence.
Then come the school and teen years and your children are in a peer environment with no parental guidance for 8 – 10 hours a day. So you have had lots of time on your own and they have had lots of time to pick up some really nasty habits from disrespect to other social vices.
Let’s go back to the mom who brings her children home. Perhaps her mornings have been spent doing grocery shopping, meeting a friend for tea, a hair appointment or gym. Now she is faced with her children in this time instead.
What is your parenting goal?
Your goal above everything is to build relationships with your children. Your goal is to yield your heart to the parenting of Father God so that you can parent your children.
Part of this parenting is the instilling of character in your children. Character can be defined as the qualities that you want your children to possess. These character qualities in Christian circles are well summed up in Galatians 5:21 – 23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
Our initial quote said that homeschooling is more for the parent than the child, so if we look at this scripture we can see how a mother will need these same character qualities to be able to impart the same to her children. And this starts when you spend 24/7 in each other’s presence. When you rub up against one another, as you go about your daily work, as you sit with them to eat and as you begin to teach them.
So dear parent, take the step, spend the time truly parenting, obey God and He will parent and lead you so that you can raise successful adults for His kingdom.
Suggested Reading
A Mom Just Like You – Vicki Farris
Websites
10 Tips for Worried Homeschool Parents
The Best Mother, the Best Preschool
Top 5 tips for Starting Homeschool
Coming up in part 4 of this E-course: Eclectic Homeschooling – How to avoid replicating school at home – and why you shouldn’t do that!